Don’t Let Your Heart Be Hardened
16 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
Today, I heard a song that I haven’t heard in a long time called “Don’t Let Your Heart Be Hardened” from 1987, by a group called Petra from their album “This Means War.” This song came out around the time when I was trying to break free from my codependent relationship with my mother. I didn’t realize until today how much this song had helped to make me who I am today. So many times over the years the song would play in the back of my mind whenever I face a situation where I have a choice of becoming hardened or to have compassion, and steered me toward compassion. It helped me to break free from the codependency without losing compassion for my mom and her emotional immaturity, when I could have easily become hardened and severed the relationship altogether as I was tempted to do back then.
This song also helped me in my parenting to be childlike and see things from my children’s point of view. Time and time again, it steered me toward compassion instead of harshness toward the children. I would not have the relationship that I have today with my kids if I had let my heart be hardened by the hardship of life or those moments when the children had tested my patience or did not meet my expectations in some ways (I learned to let expectations go too, but that’s a topic for another post). The song encouraged me to be humble and admit to the kids when I had been wrong, to apologize when I needed to, to be transparent and let them see me broken before God, stripped of religious rituals and piety. I believe it is through this example of brokenness that my kids now have the genuine relationship with God that they do.
As I listen to the song again today, I pray once more that my heart never be hardened and always stay childlike, always broken before God, always long to be filled with His love for everyone.
DON’T LET YOUR HEART BE HARDENED (Click on the song title to hear it played on Grooveshark.com)
Words and music by Bob Hartman
Based on Psalm 95:7-8, Hebrews 3:13
(Chorus)
Don’t let your heart be hardened – don’t let your love grow cold
May it always stay so childlike – may it never grow too old
Don’t let your heart be hardened – may you always know the cure
Keep it broken before Jesus, keep it thankful, meek, and pure
May it always feel compassion – may it beat as one with God’s
May it never be contrary – may it never be at odds
May it always be forgiving – may it never know conceit
May it always be encouraged – may it never know defeat
May your heart be always open – never satisfied with right
May your heat be filled with courage and strengthened with all might
Let His love rain down upon you
Breaking up your fallow ground
Let it lossen all the binding
Till only tenderness is found
Thank You For Being My Dad
22 Aug 2011 2 Comments
I stumbled upon the song “Thank You For Being My Dad” by Jon Barker (2006) while looking for another song on Youtube. I’m so glad for this accidental find, and that I took a listen to it, because it’s such a touching song, and because it’s how I feel toward my Dad. Those of you who know my life story are probably wondering, how so when your father abused you and abandoned you?
It is true that I wasn’t fortunate enough to have had an earthy father who loved me like this song writer’s dad loved him, and there was a time when songs like this would bring me tremendous sadness of an unfulfilled longing to be loved and cherished. It’s true that I would never be able to say the words in this song about my father. That deep longing to be loved made me vulnerable as I grew from a child into a young women and I got into a codependent relationship with a person who was abusive and controlling (but I couldn’t see it at the time). Long story short, that relationship left me so broken and wounded, I didn’t want to live anymore and tried to end my life. That was when God intervened, and my life began again with my new Dad.
It has been 27 years now, and I have come to know a God who loves me better than anyone on earth can. He found me broken and hopeless, and He adopted me into His family and gave me a home. He gave me security by showing me time and time again that I can never do anything to push Him away. He taught me much about life and love. He taught me to forgive, first myself and then others. He healed the wounds in my heart. All the sadness has been replaced with peace, and all my longing to be loved has been fulfilled. I have a hope for a new start each an everyday. I truly am a different person now than I was before this new life began. I am who I am today because of Him and His love.
As a mother, I am thankful for the healing my Dad has done in me, so I can parent my children from wholeness instead of brokenness. I hope I am modeling God’s gracious unconditional love to my children, and I hope that they too, will come to know God’s love as well as I do. Hopefully I have been able to give them a good foundation so that they won’t become as vulnerable to others’ manipulation as I once had been. And I am very thankful that my Dad has given my children a truly wonderful earthly father. I am very glad that my children will be able to wholeheartedly say the words of this song to their daddy.
Thank You For Being My Dad
Music & Lyrics by Jon Barker
A son rarely tells his Father
How he really feels,
A handshake or a pat on the back
is all that he reveals,
I’d like to right that wrong,
Here in this little song.
Thank you for shaping my life,
Thank you for teaching me all you can,
You are no ordinary man,
You make me everything I am.
Thank you for taking the time,
Thank you for showing me the way,
And thank you for being there
when I need you,
Thank you for every single day.
Now I’ve been blessed with a son of my own,
Got my own bedtime stories to tell,
If I can raise him half as well
as you raised me,
Guess I’ll be doing pretty well.
Thank you for your guiding hand,
Thank you for making my dreams come true,
You’re an extraordinary man,
And I hope you’re as proud of me
As I am proud of you.
Thank you for giving me life,
Thank you for showing me good from bad.
I guess I’m only really trying to say,
Thank you for being my Dad.
Even though the years drift away,
I
never took the time just to say,
‘I love you, and I always have,
And thank you for being my Dad.’
‘Thank you for being my Dad.’
Laughter In The Rain
24 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment
Paul and I were caught in the storm today while out on our lunch and Home Depot date. We laughed as we ran from the store back to our van when the rain started coming down, and we laughed even more when it was still pouring hard as we pulled into our driveway. We sat there contemplating whether to dash for the house or to wait till the rain slows down. We were saying to each other that with our luck, no matter when we decide to dash for it, the rain will stop as soon as we get in the door and we’ll be soaking wet, when all of sudden, there was a marked decrease in the rain pour. At that instant, both of us grabbed the door handles ready to pounce. We’d thought the same thing, “Here’s our chance!” And so we ran, laughing at ourselves all the way into the house.
I observed two things:
1) I can still run pretty fast when I have to; and
2) After 26 years of being married, there’s still a lot of laughter and love between us.
As we were running toward the house, the song “Laughter In The Rain” came to my mind. It’s by Neil Sedaka, from 1974. Paul and I weren’t strolling along and holding hands like the couple in this song, but there sure was a lot of laughter, and I did feel all happy inside. 
