This song also helped me in my parenting to be childlike and see things from my children’s point of view.   Time and time again, it steered me toward compassion instead of harshness toward the children.  I would not have the relationship that I have today with my kids if I had let my heart be hardened by the hardship of life or those moments when the children had tested my patience or did not meet my expectations in some ways (I learned to let expectations go too, but that’s a topic  for another post).   The song encouraged me to be humble and admit to the kids when I had been wrong, to apologize when I needed to, to be transparent and let them see me broken before God, stripped of religious rituals and piety.  I believe it is through this example of brokenness that my kids now have the genuine relationship with God that they do.

As I listen to the song again today,  I pray once more that my heart never be hardened and always stay childlike, always broken before God, always long to be filled with His love for everyone.

DON’T LET YOUR HEART BE HARDENED (Click on the song title to hear it played on Grooveshark.com)

Words and music by Bob Hartman
Based on Psalm 95:7-8, Hebrews 3:13

(Chorus)
Don’t let your heart be hardened – don’t let your love grow cold
May it always stay so childlike – may it never grow too old
Don’t let your heart be hardened – may you always know the cure
Keep it broken before Jesus, keep it thankful, meek, and pure

May it always feel compassion – may it beat as one with God’s
May it never be contrary – may it never be at odds
May it always be forgiving – may it never know conceit
May it always be encouraged – may it never know defeat

May your heart be always open – never satisfied with right
May your heat be filled with courage and strengthened with all might

Let His love rain down upon you
Breaking up your fallow ground
Let it lossen all the binding
Till only tenderness is found

It is true that I wasn’t fortunate enough to have had an earthy father who loved me like this song writer’s dad loved him, and there was a time when songs like this would bring me tremendous sadness of an unfulfilled longing to be loved and cherished.  It’s true that I would never be able to say the words in this song about my father.  That deep longing to be loved made me vulnerable as I grew from a child into a young women and I got into a codependent relationship with a person who was abusive and controlling (but I couldn’t see it at the time).  Long story short, that relationship left me so broken and wounded, I didn’t want to live anymore and tried to end my life.   That was when God intervened, and my life began again with my new Dad.

It has been 27 years now, and I have come to know a God who loves me better than anyone on earth can.   He found me broken and hopeless, and He adopted me into His family and gave me a home.   He gave me security by showing me time and time again that I can never do anything to push Him away.  He taught me much about life and love.  He taught me to forgive, first myself and then others.    He healed the wounds in my heart.   All the sadness has been replaced with peace, and all my longing to be loved has been fulfilled.   I have a hope for a new start each an everyday.  I truly am a different person now than I was before this new life began.  I am who I am today because of Him and His love.

As a mother, I am thankful for the healing my Dad has done in me, so I can parent my children from wholeness instead of brokenness.  I hope I am modeling God’s gracious unconditional love to my children, and I hope that they too, will come to know God’s love as well as I do.  Hopefully I have been able to give them a good foundation so that they won’t become as vulnerable to others’ manipulation as I once had been.   And I am very thankful that my Dad has given my children a truly wonderful earthly father.  I am very glad that my children will be able to wholeheartedly say the words of this song to their daddy.

Thank You For Being My Dad

Music & Lyrics by Jon Barker

A son rarely tells his Father 
How he really feels,
A handshake or a pat on the back 
is all that he reveals,
I’d like to right that wrong,
Here in this little song.

Thank you for shaping my life,
Thank you for teaching me all you can,
You are no ordinary man,
You make me everything I am.

Thank you for taking the time,
Thank you for showing me the way,
And thank you for being there
 when I need you,
Thank you for every single day.

Now I’ve been blessed with a son of my own,
Got my own bedtime stories to tell,
If I can raise him half as well
 as you raised me,
Guess I’ll be doing pretty well.

Thank you for your guiding hand,
Thank you for making my dreams come true,
You’re an extraordinary man,
And I hope you’re as proud of me
As I am proud of you.

Thank you for giving me life,
Thank you for showing me good from bad.
I guess I’m only really trying to say,
Thank you for being my Dad.

Even though the years drift away, 
I
never took the time just to say,
‘I love you, and I always have,
And thank you for being my Dad.’

‘Thank you for being my Dad.’

I observed two things:

1)  I can still run pretty fast when I have to; and

2) After 26 years of being married, there’s still a lot of laughter and love between us.

As we were running toward the house, the song “Laughter In The Rain” came to my mind.  It’s by Neil Sedaka, from 1974.   Paul and I weren’t strolling along and holding hands like the couple in this song, but  there sure was a lot of laughter, and I did feel all happy inside.

Today is 4th of July, Independence Day, where most Americans either have the whole day off or will be getting off work early to celebrate the founding of this country and the freedom we have.  There are many songs that express our patriotism, but my all-time favorite is “God Bless the U.S.A.” by Lee Greenwood (1984).  I remember when I first heard it on the radio–I cried as I sang along with the chorus, “And I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free; and I won’t forget the men who died, who gave that right to me. . .”   I still tear up almost every time I sing this chorus.

To all the men and women who gave their lives, as well as those who are currently putting their lives on the line, to give me this day to be free, to be sitting here typing this blog, I salute you and thank you with my deepest gratitude.

GOD BLESS THE U.S.A.
By Lee Greenwood

If tomorrow all the things were gone I’d worked for all my life,
And I had to start again with just my children and my wife.
I’d thank my lucky stars to be living here today,
‘Cause the flag still stands for freedom and they can’t take that away.

And I’m proud to be an American where at least I know I’m free.
And I won’t forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.
And I’d gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land God bless the U.S.A.

From the lakes of Minnesota, to the hills of Tennessee,
across the plains of Texas, from sea to shining sea,
From Detroit down to Houston and New York to LA,
Well, there’s pride in every American heart,
and it’s time to stand and say:

I’m proud to be an American where at least I know I’m free.
And I won’t forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.
And I’d gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land God bless the U.S.A.

The Bible is very clear that nobody can know when the world will end.  Jesus Himself said that even He doesn’t know when He’ll return, and when it happens it will be a surprise, like a thief in the night. Don’t get me wrong, as a friend of Jesus, I will be happy to see Jesus come back to set everything right in this world, and start a whole new world where peace and love reign supreme. I just don’t think Harold Camping or anyone who claims to know when that time is are operating with all their marbles.  My friends, if Jesus Himself who is God says He doesn’t know, how can any mere man know?  It is that simple of a thought process to me.

This morning, as I awoke to a beautiful sunny morning and the sound of birds chirping in the distance, the song “The End Of The World” by Skeeter Davis (1962) popped into my head, with a few revisions of my own.  I have included the Youtube video of the original song, in case you don’t know it.   Hope you like my sense of humor.

The End Of The World 2  (or Ode to Harold Camping)

Why does the sun go on shining?
Why does the sea rush to shore?
Don’t they know it’s the end of the world
‘Cause Harold Camping is so sure?

Why do the birds go on singing?
Why do the stars glow above?
Don’t they know it’s the end of the world?
Aren’t Harold Camping’s words enough?

I wake up in the morning and no wonder;
Look, everything’s the same as it was.
I do understand, yes I do understand,
How life goes on the way it does.

Why does my heart go on beating?
Why do these eyes of mine cry?
‘Cause they know it’s not the end of the world
And Harold Camping’s told a lie.

A friend shared this poem with me in an email today, and I thought I’d share it with you.   I find this poem very poignant and true of our human hearts without love.   It’s our human tendency to judge those who are different than us, or those whom we don’t understand.  I pray that the unconditional love of God will birth forth, first in me, and then in all the hearts of those whom I touch.  For only when we can see each other simply as children of God, created in His image, without any earthly labels, can we truly have peace and harmony among all men.  Let love reign supreme, and don’t let our hearts grow cold!

Wendy’s written her own thoughts on the lyrics to this song, which you can read at her website.

Life hasn’t been easy for us since my father left when I was 6 years old.  I’m not sure if it was before or after this photo was taken.  It wasn’t till I became a mother myself that I truly comprehend how heart-wrenching it must have been for my mother to be told that she could not bring her children back home to my grandparents’ house when her marriage with my father failed, and to have my brothers and I taken away from her by my father (whom she knew was an abusive man).

To compound her pain, my father then placed us in boarding school, and the only time she could see us was to visit us at school, and occasionally take us home for a weekend.  When school was at recess and we went to our father’s house, my mother was forbidden to visit us there.  There were no laws governing divorce or separation in Bangkok, Thailand, at least not then.  Long story short, years went by where my brothers and I grew up without daily contact with our mother.  It wasn’t until I was 13, when my mother took me with her to the U.S. in October of 1975, that I got to live with my mother again, and my brothers joined us about a year later.  By the time all of us were together again, I was already 14.

Though I was a teenager by the time she had us with her again, in my mother’s psyche, my brothers and I were still the little children that were taken from her.  She never did get over the pain and sorrow, even to this day, and emotionally, she’s constantly yearning for that happy scene with her children in her arms.    Because she’s unable to let go of the past to find that inner peace that’s so vital for healing and maturity, my mother did not have that to pass on to me, and I grew up very insecure, and always feeling responsible for my mother’s emotional well being.   I resented this as a teenager, and my relationship with my mother was rocky as I fought for my independence.  I could not understand my mother until after I got married and experienced the love of a mother from the vantage point of a mom, when I had my first child at the age of 24.   As I held my own child, imagining what it would be like to be separated from him, I wept in my mother’s place.

Now, as a middle-aged adult who has raised 3 out of 6 of my own children to adulthood, I completely understand how my mother could have difficulty letting us go while she continued to treat my brothers and I like little children as we grew into adulthood.   As I progressed in my own healing, living each day in the unconditional love of God for me,  I’ve grown in my acceptance of my mother as she is, with all her human frailties and shortcomings.  She never really had a chance to be a mom, because her children were taken from her, and later on, because she was still stuck in the past, she did some things in my teen and young adult years that were harmful to my emotional development.  But, there is one thing I can never doubt about my mother,  and that is her fierce love for me and my brothers.  Even when she made the mistakes, she did so because she truly believed that was best for us.   And I will forever be thankful that when my father tried so hard to hide us from her and cut her out of our lives, she never gave up searching for us.  She worked hard to support us as a single mother, and taught us many lessons about good work ethics, kindness, and generosity.  I don’t know how she did it, but we always had enough to meet our needs and to share with others.

If I have the power, I would turn back time and start us all over again as a family, changing the circumstances to give my mother that happy time with her young children in her arms, fulfilling her heart’s deep longing, so she can have peace.  But alas, I cannot do that.  I can only live in the present, and love her through her pain as I grieve the mother-daughter relationship that we could have had, if only things were different.

But things are different for me and my own children.  And in my mother’s honor, I am loving my children as fiercely as I know she has loved me.  In her honor, I am loving  my children as I believe my mother would have done had circumstances been different for her and me.  And in her honor, I want the whole world to know how very much I love my mother.

No matter how dark the days, no matter what you have done, no matter what you’ve heard. . .  He won’t let go of you.  He will dry your tears.  He will help you get free.  He will fight the fight for you.  You are His child, and He loves you deeply, unconditionally.   See yourself through His eyes, the eyes of an adoring Father who delights in His child, who only sees what you were intended to be and not what you’ve become.  See God as a loving God who just wants to hold you and take your hurt away, replacing it with peace.  Fall into His arms.

I have found Him to be the Daddy I have always wanted in my life.  Let Him have a chance to be your Daddy.

I WON’T LET GO by Rascal Flatts (2011)

It’s like a storm
That cuts a path
It breaks your will
It feels like that
You think you’re lost
But you’re not lost on your own,
You’re not alone

I will stand by you,
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
and you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes,
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
and I won’t let go

It hurts my heart to see you cry
I know its dark this part of life
Oh it find us all and we’re to small
to stop the rain
Oh but when it rains

I will stand by you,
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
and you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes,
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
and I won’t let you fall

Don’t be afraid to fall
I’m right here to catch you
I won’t let you down
It won’t get you down
You’re gonna make it
I know you can make it

Cause I will stand by you,
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
and you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes,
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
and I won’t let go

Oh I’m gonna hold you
and I won’t let go
Won’t let you go
No I won’t

I have always been spiritually sensitive.  I’ve known God as far back in my childhood as I can remember.  It was wonderful, beautiful, a miracle, even a magical time in a child-like sense.  I loved nature–the birds, the trees, the clouds, little furry animals–and in nature I encountered God, a loving God, a compassionate God who delighted in watching me play, even laughing with me.   He was there to comfort me after my father beat me as a toddler, and protected my psyche as I saw my father physically abused my mother.  Then, life happens–my family life fell apart, my father left my mother, and I and my 2 younger brothers were sent to boarding school, a Christian boarding school.  There I learned to memorize Scriptures, and I was told of a God that watches over me like a judge, and will punish me if I’m bad (and the disciplinary actions at the school enforced this image of God very well too).    Throughout my childhood, I was taught in Sunday School to be wary of the affirming entity in my heart that I’d known, that it’s really my own deceitful heart (some would even say it’s the devil), and I was introduced to a god who’s full of wrath, waiting to punish me whenever I do bad things, and to judge everyone in the end, destroying the bad ones in an eternal fire.  Suddenly the focus was all on being good and doing good to keep peace with this wrathful and holy god.  Now there are rules I needed to follow to be a good Christian, to be sensible, dependable, spiritual, acceptable to this god.  I didn’t see it then, but I really had been conditioned to be a mindless vegetable, just following the rules I was told God wanted me to follow.  God then became a distant tyrant, and I forgot all about the times I had shared with him in my younger days.

When I was alone and left to my own thoughts, the questions would be there.  But when I asked those questions of the people teaching me about God, I got answers that only led to more “but what about. . .?” questions.   Soon I learned it was futile to ask questions, because nobody really knows the answers and they didn’t like having to admit that they didn’t know, so I just kept the questions to myself.

Long story short, when I was between the ages of 19 to 21, I’d made choices and did things that I still regret to this day, though I’ve since come to terms with it with the real God.   Back then though, the guilt and shame of failing to live up to the perfect standard this wrathful god expected of me led me to such self-loathing, I expected this false god to destroy me, because I had learned well what the people who do such abominable things deserved.   And when I continued to breath and live, I figured that I was so detestable, I wasn’t even worth destroying.  I couldn’t stand the emptiness, the unresponsiveness from this god, so I attempted suicide to end the pain.

As much as I wish my life had not come to this dark moment, I’m glad it had, because that’s when I saw the merciful and loving God I used to know in my young childhood again.  How he saved my life is another story in itself to be told at another time.  I’ve learned since then that He’s been there all along, but I had believed in what I was taught about Him instead of trusting in what I had experienced and known in my heart, and so I couldn’t see Him for who He really was, is, and always will be.  From that moment on, I felt a freedom to ask questions, but not to the religious leaders. I asked God Himself.  I’ve discovered Him to be very different from the god I was taught about.   This true God loves me deeply, unconditionally, and it pained Him when I couldn’t see myself through His eyes, and chose to destroy myself instead of coming to Him, letting Him love me and heal me.  He is a God of justice, but also one of mercy.  In Him alone can anyone find the perfect balance between love and justice.  And, in my experience, the majority of people who are teaching other people about God don’t really have it right, and tend to lean too far to one side or the other.  What’s saddest is they’re fighting each other all the time, and that grieves God very much.

It’s been nearly 27 years now since God rescued me from that dark pit. We have had quite an adventure, and I’ve asked Him many questions. I still don’t have all my questions answered, and I probably won’t, because to know all the answers would literally blow up my mind and kill me.  My finite mind just can’t contain all the wisdom of God.  But I am at peace in not knowing everything.  I’m OK with the mysteries, because I know the One who knows.  And since I now really know who I am, or more precisely, Whose I am, life is once again beautiful, wonderful, and definitely, a miracle.   So I guess I’ve come a full circle, becoming a child again.  Fitting, really, for Jesus said unless you be like a child, you will not see the Kingdom of God.  It truly is wonderful to simply be like a child, resting on His lap, living each day in the awareness of His deep affection for me!

THE LOGICAL SONG   As performed by Supertramp in 1979

When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful,
a miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical.
And all the birds in the trees, well they’d be singing so happily,
joyfully, playfully watching me.
But then they sent me away to teach me how to be sensible,
logical, responsible, practical.
And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable,
clinical, intellectual, cynical.

There are times when all the world’s asleep,
the questions run too deep
for such a simple man.
Won’t you please, please tell me what we’ve learned
I know it sounds absurd
but please tell me who I am.

Now watch what you say or they’ll be calling you a radical,
liberal, fanatical, criminal.
Won’t you sign up your name, we’d like to feel you’re
acceptable, respecable, presentable, a vegtable!

At night, when all the world’s asleep,
the questions run so deep
for such a simple man.
Won’t you please, please tell me what we’ve learned
I know it sounds absurd
but please tell me who I am.

This past weekend, the news of the tragic car accident that flipped Chad Cole’s world upside down came the usual way–through a  friend of mine who knows him.  Chad and his wife Sara, who was 8 months pregnant with their first child, was on their way to visit a relative along with her parents, when their van was struck from behind by a tractor-trailer.  Sara was killed in the accident, and they delivered Baby Amanda about an hour later, without a heartbeat or brain activity.  The doctor did all they could and were giving Amanda 72 hours to show signs of brain activity.  My friend asked me to pray for Chad and Baby Amanda.   In her Facebook post, my friend also included the URL to Chad’s blog, and I clicked on the link to read it.

That was when I entered into Chad’s world and experienced his pain and sorrow as if they were mine.  I read about his and Sarah’s joy when they first found out Sara was pregnant (after they’d tried for over a year to conceive), his anticipation of fatherhood for the past 8 months, and his reaction to the horrific event that happened this past Saturday along a highway in Michigan.  I found myself grieving this stranger’s loss of his wife and best friend of 15 years; hanging by the thread of hope with him for the past 3 days as he waited for a sign of life in his little daughter whom they’d tried for over a year to conceive; and finally grieving the loss of that precious daughter along with him last night.   I grieved the loss of his dream.  I have never cried so much along with a stranger hundreds of miles away before.  And it wasn’t just me.  There were 25,000 people on Facebook who also grieved with Chad and his family.  And I’m sure there were many more who didn’t have a Facebook account.

I was wondering why I would weep so much for a stranger when I remembered the passage in the Bible where we’re told to bear one another’s burden.  I believe this was God’s answer to Chad’s prayer, and the prayers of thousands who had been touched by this tragedy in various ways.  Chad’s burden of pain and grief was being distributed among many, because he could not bear it alone.  I may never meet Chad, and he may never know of me other than the comment I left on his blog, but I am glad to have been one of many to bear Chad’s sorrow, to lift him up in prayers for the healing of his emotions, and the strength he’ll need to face life without Sara and Amanda.   I believe this is what the Kingdom of God here on earth is like.

To read news articles about the accident and updates, click here.

To read Chad’s blog, click here.

But the lyrics of this song isn’t really talking about slip sliding on ice though.  It’s talking about the communication that needs to happen but never does because as the person gets close to that moment, they turn around and “slip sliding away.”    It’s sad really.  So many relationships are broken (and left broken) because people don’t talk for fear of either rejection, or the pain they have to face to get through it.  If only they can see how much better things can be, when misunderstanding and misconceptions are exposed, and they can truly communicate heart to heart.  But instead, they hold on to the misconception and continue to live in fear and insecurity.

I want to always have the courage to face my fears and look at the truth, for the sake of building and improving relationships, especially with my own husband and children.   And the same goes for my relationship with God too.  I’d rather be vulnerable with Him and come to know what He’s really like, than to continue believing  in what others tell me He’s like.  Life is too short to be wasted living crippled by miscommunication and misunderstanding.  It’s much more free and rewarding to live in truth, no matter how much it hurts, or how risky it is.

Slip Sliding Away
By Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel

Slip sliding away, slip sliding away
You know the nearer your destination, the more you slip sliding away

Whoah and I know a man, he came from my hometown
He wore his passion for his woman like a thorny crown
He said dolores, I live in fear
My love for you’s so overpowering, Im afraid that I will disappear

Chorus

I know a woman, (who) became a wife
These are the very words she uses to describe her life
She said a good day ain’t got no rain
She said a bad day is when I lie in the bed
And I think of things that might have been

Chorus

And I know a father who had a son
He longed to tell him all the reasons for the things he’d done
He came a long way just to explain
He kissed his boy as he lay sleeping
Then he turned around and he headed home again

Chorus

Whoah God only knows, God makes his plan
The informations unavailable to the mortal man
We’re workin our jobs, collect our pay
Believe we’re gliding down the highway, when in fact we’re slip sliding away

Chorus repeats 2x

Some people either hide in shame at their failure, or run away from God in fear, because they have a misconception that God is angry with them.  But in reality,  He just wants to scoop them up in a big hug, and help them heal and be victorious over their life circumstances.    He longs to hear us cry out to Him and invite Him into whatever mess we’re in.   I know this truth from my own life experiences.   He’s very good at cleaning up messes and mending broken hearts.  I wouldn’t be here today if He wasn’t.

So don’t be ashamed or fearful.  Call out to Him.  Come cry on His shoulders.  After all, you are His child and He delights to hear from you.

Better Than A Hallelujah (By Amy Grant)

God loves a lullaby
In a mothers tears in the dead of night
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.
God loves a drunkards cry,
The soldiers plea not to let him die
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah

The woman holding on for life,
The dying man giving up the fight
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes
The tears of shame for what’s been done,
The silence when the words won’t come
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah

Better than a church bell ringing,
Better than a choir singing out, singing out.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah

Repeat Chorus

I love this video because it shows kids of all races dreaming of great achievement for themselves that would have been impossible without the “equal opportunity for all” that has come about as a result of all that has transpired in the past 150 years or so. To all the men and women who risked all they had, including their lives, to bring equality for all, I give you a big heartfelt thanks. Thank you for inspiring us to dream of a better future!

Welcome to the Future
Word and music by Brad Paisley

When I was ten years old
I remember thinking how cool it would be
When we were going on an eight-hour drive
If I could just watch TV
And I’d have given anything
To have my own Pac-Man game at home
I used to have to get a ride down to the arcade
Now I’ve got it on my phone

Chorus:
Hey, glory, glory, hallelujah
Welcome to the future

My grandpa was in World War 2
He fought against the Japanese
He wrote a hundred letters to my grandma
Mailed them from his base in the Philippines
I wish they could see this now
The world they saved has changed you know
‘Cause I was on a video chat this morning
With a company in Tokyo

Chorus:
Hey, everyday’s a revolution
Welcome to the future

Hey, look around it’s all so clear
Hey, wherever we were going, well we’re here
Hey, so many things I never thought I’d see
Happening right in front of me

I had a friend in school
Running back on the football team
They burned a cross in his front yard
For asking out the homecoming queen
I thought about him today
And everybody who’d seen what he’d seen
From a woman on a bus
To a man with a dream

Chorus:
Hey, wake up Martin Luther
Welcome to the future
Hey, glory, glory, hallelujah
Welcome to the future

In reflecting back to the teachers in my life, the ones that made the most difference were the ones who cared more than just teaching me the academics.  They cared about me as a person, and to this day, I still remember fondly the encouragement I had received from them.   So, for the wonderful teachers everywhere who take the time to help the students discover themselves and show them a better way of life, I dedicate this song to Sir (and M’am) with love!

To Sir With Love (As performed by Lulu in the released single)

Those schoolgirl days
Of telling tales and biting nails are gone
But in my mind
I know they will still live on and on
But how do you thank someone
who has taken you from crayons to perfume
It isn’t easy but I’ll try

If you wanted the sky I would write across the sky
in letters that would soar a thousand feet high
To Sir with love.

The time has come
For closing books and long last looks must end
And as I leave
I know that I am leaving my best friend
A friend who taught me right from wrong
and weak from strong
That’s a lot to learn.
What, what can I give you in return?

If you wanted the moon I would try to make a start
but I would rather you let me give my heart
To Sir with love.

(Note: The following verse is in the movie version of the song, but omitted from the released single version of the song.)

Those awkward years have hurried by, why did they fly away?
Why is it Sir, children grow up to be people one day?
What takes the place of climbing trees and dirty knees in the world outside?
What is there for you I could buy?

If you wanted the world I’d surround it with a wall,
I’d scrawl these words with letters ten feet tall,
“TO SIR WTIH LOVE”

The Breath You Take By George Strait

He looks up from second base dad’s up in the stands
He saw the hit, the run, the slide there ain’t no bigger fan
In the parking lot after the game he said
“Dad I thought you had a plane to catch”
He smiled and said “Yeah son I did”

Chours
Life’s not the breaths you take
The breathing in and out
That gets you through the day
Ain’t what it’s all about
Ya just might miss the point
Try’n to win the race
Life’s not the breaths you take
But the moments that take your breath away

Fast forward fifteen years
And a thousand miles away
Boy’s built a life he’s got a wife
And a baby due today
He hears a voice saying “I made it son
He said “I told you dad you didn’t have to come”
He smiles and says ”Yeah I know you did”

Chours

Just like it took my breath when she was born
Just like it took my breath away when dad took his last that morn

Life’s not the breaths you take
The breathing in and out
That gets you through the day
Ain’t what it’s all about
Ya just might miss the point
If ya don’t slow down the pace
Life’s not the breaths you take
But the moments that take your breath away

I like the message in this song and the original poem, which is: No matter how much chaos there is around us, God isn’t dead nor does He sleep, and in Him there is always peace.  True peace, the peace that doesn’t depend on any outside circumstance, is found in Him alone. So whatever circumstance you’re in, have faith that God is with you and cares very much about you. Draw near to Him and trust Him to work in your situation. With God, there is always hope for a brighter day with peace on earth and good will toward all men.

I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day (As performed by Casting Crown)

I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play
And mild and sweet their songs repeat
Of peace on earth good will to men
And the bells are ringing
Like a choir they’re singing
In my heart I hear them
Peace on earth, good will to men

And in despair I bowed my head
There is no peace on earth I said
For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth good will to men
But the bells are ringing
Like a choir singing
Does anybody hear them?
Peace on earth, good will to men

Then rang the bells more loud and deep
God is not dead, nor doth He sleep
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail
With peace on earth, good will to men

Then ringing singing on its way
The world revolved from night to day
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good will to men

And the bells they’re ringing
Like a choir they’re singing
And with our hearts we’ll hear them
Peace on earth, good will to men

Do you hear the bells they’re ringing?
The life the angels singing
Open up your heart and hear them
Peace on earth, good will to men

Peace on earth, Peace on earth
Peace on earth, Good will to men

Christmas Bells (A Poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)

I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet
The words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along
The unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Till, ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime
A chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then from each black accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South,
And with the sound
The carols drowned
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
And made forlorn
The households born
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head;
“There is no peace on earth,” I said;
“For hate is strong,
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!”

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead; nor doth he sleep!
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men!”

“Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love, and His Gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break, for a slave is a brother;
and in His name all oppression shall cease.”

In God’s eyes, there is no male or female, no master or slave, no rich or poor.  We are all His beloved children, all brothers and sisters in His household.  Some of us don’t know we’re His children.  And some of us who believe that they’re His children cannot see that those who don’t believe are still His children regardless of their unbelief.

Jesus came so that we can know our worth as God’s children.   He came to set us free, so that our self-worth is no longer dependent on our performance, on what the world thinks of us, or on how we rank with others.    Our worth is based on His unconditional love for us alone.  When we realize how very much we’re loved by God, and truly live in the reality of His unconditional love, all other descriptors (rich, poor, master, slave, weak, strong, married, divorced, educated, not educated, etc.) don’t matter anymore.   Because God’s love is freely given and cannot be earned, it breaks through all barriers and makes everyone equal–equally loved and cherished by God.  When, and only when, we have experienced this unconditional love, then we’re able to love others in the same way, overlooking all the descriptors that separate mankind into groups and classes, to see them as brothers and sisters, regardless of their beliefs.

O Holy Night (As performed by Evie Tornquist)

O Holy Night!  The stars are brightly shining;
It is the night of our dear Saviour’s birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining;
‘Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices;
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born;
O night divine!  O night, O night divine!

Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love, and His Gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break, for a slave is a brother;
And in His name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we;
Let all within us praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord; Let ever, ever praise we
His power and glory evermore proclaim!
His power and glory evermore proclaim!

“Paul O’Neill explained the story behind Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24 in an interview published on ChristianityToday.com:

… We heard about this cello player born in Sarajevo many years ago who left when he was fairly young to go on to become a well-respected musician, playing with various symphonies throughout Europe. Many decades later, he returned to Sarajevo as an elderly man—at the height of the Bosnian War, only to find his city in complete ruins.

I think what most broke this man’s heart was that the destruction was not done by some outside invader or natural disaster—it was done by his own people.  At that time, Serbs were shelling Sarajevo every night.  Rather than head for the bomb shelters like his family and neighbors, this man went to the town square, climbed onto a pile of rubble that had once been the fountain, took out his cello, and played Mozart and Beethoven as the city was bombed.

He came every night and began playing Christmas carols from that same spot. It was just such a powerful image—a white-haired man silhouetted against the cannon fire, playing timeless melodies to both sides of the conflict amid the rubble and devastation of the city he loves.  Some time later, a reporter traced him down to ask why he did this insanely stupid thing. The old man said that it was his way of proving that despite all evidence to the contrary, the spirit of humanity was still alive in that place.

The song basically wrapped itself around him. We used some of the oldest Christmas melodies we could find, like “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” and “Carol of the Bells” (which is from Ukraine, near that region). The orchestra represents one side, the rock band the other, and single cello represents that single individual, that spark of hope.”

Mary’s Boy Child (As performed by Evie Tornquist)

Long time ago in Bethlehem,
So the Holy Bible say;
Mary’s boy child, Jesus Christ
Was born on Christmas day.

Hark, now hear the angels sing,
New King is born today,
And man will live forevermore,
Because of Christmas day.

While shepherds watched their flock by night,
They saw a bright new shining star,
And heard a choir from heaven sing,
The music came from afar.

Hark, now hear the angels sing,
New King is born today,
And man will live forevermore,
Because of Christmas day.

[Instrumental Break]

Now, Joseph and his wife, Mary,
Came to Bethlehem that night;
They found no place to bear her child;
Not a single room was in sight.

By and by, they found a little nook
In a stable all forlorn;
And in a manger cold and dark,
Mary’s little boy child was born.

Trumpets sound and angels sing,
Listen to what they say;
That Man will live forevermore,
Because of Christmas Day!
Because of Christmas Day!

Stuck In The Smoke Hole Of Our Tipi
Written and performed by Oldhands

There’s a funny fat man in a silly red suit
Stuck in the smoke hole of our tipi
There’s a funny fat man in a silly red suit
Stuck in the smoke hole of our tipi
Ho, Ho, Ho, he thinks he’s talking Indian
No, No, No, ain’t no way we’ll let him in
Want no funny fat man in a silly red suit
Stuck in the smoke hole of our tipi

Grandma’s skinning his deer, and Grandpa’s cooking up the meat
From the funny fat man in a silly red suit
Stuck in the smoke hole of our tipi
Ho, Ho, Ho, he thinks he’s talking Indian
No, No, No, ain’t no way we’ll let him in
Want no funny fat man in a silly red suit
Stuck in the smoke hole of our tipi

Auntie’s taking his boots, and Uncle’s stripping down the sleigh
Of the funny fat man in a silly red suit
Stuck in the smoke hole of our tipi
Ho, Ho, Ho, he thinks he’s talking Indian
No, No, No, ain’t no way we’ll let him in
Want no funny fat man in a silly red suit
Stuck in the smoke hole of our tipi

Ching, ching, ching, sound of money coming in
From the pawning of the toys
From the funny fat man in a silly red suit
Stuck in the smoke hole of our tipi
Ho, Ho, Ho, he thinks he’s talking Indian
No, No, No, ain’t no way we’ll let him in
Want no funny fat man in a silly red suit
Stuck in the smoke hole of our tipi

Ho, Ho, Ho, he thinks he’s talking Indian
No, No, No, ain’t no way we’ll let him in
Want no funny fat man in a silly red suit
Stuck in the smoke hole of our tipi

This Christmas, I may end up with a lisp myself.   I’m not losing my two front teeth, but, on December 20th (just in time for Christmas), I will be getting braces for the first time in my life to fix a bad overbite that, if not corrected, will end up grinding all my teeth away, and then I’ll be needing more than just my two front teeth.  It’s a 3 –4-year-long process, involving braces, plates, oral surgery, jaw reconstruction, and more braces.   One advantage I have going through this process as an adult who’s seen her own children grown from infancy to adulthood is that I know how quickly 3 or 4 years can fly by, and I have also learned to see beyond the pain and inconvenience of today to the result awaiting me at the end of this whole process.  And I’m hoping that the side benefit of not being able to eat everything over the holidays is that I won’t gain weight, and maybe lose a few pounds instead.  Wouldn’t that be nice!?

Since I’ll more than likely have to learn to talk all over again with all the dental corrective apparatus in my mouth, I figure before I lose the ability to say it properly, I should wish you all  an early Merry Christmas!

All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth
–As performed by Spike Jones in 1948.

Spoken intro:
’twas the night before christmas and all through the house;
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
Suddenly I heard a strange noise down below;
So, in my flannel pajamas i went tippy-toe.
I could see old saint nick from the spot where I stood;
So I slid down the banister just as fast as i could.

Sung:
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth;
My two front teeth, see, my two front teeth ?
Gee, if I could only have my two front teeth,
Then I could wish you Merry Christmas.

It seems so long since I could say
“Sister Suzy sitting on a thistle.”
Every time I try to speak,
Huh, all I do is whistle.

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth;
My two front teeth, see my two front teeth ?
Gee, if I could only have my two front teeth,
Then i could wish you Merry Christmas.

[Instrumental]

Spoken:
Good old Santa Claus and all his reindeer;
Huh, they used to bring me lots of toys and candy;
Gee, but, but now when I go out and call “Dancer, Prancer, Donnner and Blitzen”
None of ‘em can understand me!

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth;
My two front teeth, see my two front teeth?
All I want for christmas is my two front teeth
So I can wish you Merry Christmas
Christmas, Christmas
Aww, for goodness sakes!
Happy New Year!!!

I’m originally from Bangkok, Thailand, where it never snows, and immigrated to Los Angeles, California, where you have to drive for hours to the mountains to touch snow. So, I’ve never really experienced a snowy Winter until my husband and I moved to Seattle, WA, area with our firstborn child in 1987.   That was just a training camp for our move later to Carmel, Indiana, in 2003 (after moving back from Seattle to sunny California in 1989 and remaining there  for 14 years).    This being our 7th Winter in Indiana, being bone-chilling cold, and navigating through ice and snow to do everyday errands, the charm of Winter Wonderland has diminished quite a bit with me .   But his song is from the point of view of a couple in love, and when you’re twitterpated, you can be anywhere and it’s a wonderland.   When I think of it that way, being in love with my husband, and having my family with me in this snowy place, Winter can be a Wonderland after all.

God has given us a gift that’s truly priceless, a joy that surpasses all circumstances around us.   My family, being a large family with a not-so-large income, lives on a pretty tight budget, and more often than not, we have had to forgo buying Christmas presents just because there’s no fund for it.  Try as we might to save for Christmas throughout the year, something always happens to eat up that savings.  If not for artificial tree and ornaments that we can reuse year to year, we probably would have had Christmases without a tree too. I’m sharing this not to get sympathy (I don’t need or want it), but only to show you how my family has learned through our life circumstances that we don’t need these material things to enjoy the Christmas season. Don’t misunderstand me; I don’t think there’s anything wrong with gift giving itself and we’d be buying presents too if we have the money. But I know how easy it is to get lost in the shallow commercialism of the season and forget all about the real Christmas joy. I thank God for the hard times my family has gone through, because through them my family has discovered the real joy of Christmas, which does not depend on material things, but grew from a seed planted in our hearts by God’s love through Jesus Christ. So, come on, ring those bells, and let’s celebrate!

Come On, Ring Those Bells! (As performed by Evie Tornquist Karlsson)

Everybody likes to take a holiday;
Everybody likes to take a rest;
Spending time together with the family;
Sharing lots of love and happiness.

Come on, ring those bells;
Light the Christmas tree;
Jesus is the king;
Born for you and me.
Come on, ring those bells;
Everybody say;
Jesus, we remember
This your birthday.

Celebrations come because of something good;
Celebrations we love to recall;
Mary had a baby boy in Bethlehem;
The greatest celebration of all.

Come on, ring those bells;
Light the Christmas tree;
Jesus is the King;
Born for you and me.
Come on, ring those bells;
Everybody say;
Jesus, we remember;
This your birthday.

Feliz Navidad by Jose Feliciano

Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Prospero Ano y Felicidad.

Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Prospero Ano y Felicidad.

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas
From the bottom- of my heart.

Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Prospero Ano y Felicidad.

Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Prospero Ano y Felicidad.

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas
From the bottom- of my heart.

I saw a video recently of an Indian man, Narayanan Krishnan, who gave up his promising career as a 5-star hotel chef to devote his whole life to feeding the hungry in his home town.   As I watched the video, I was struck by how similar this is to what Christ has done for us, giving up his rightful place at His throne to come and live among us, to save us from our depraved condition, clean us up (forgive us of sin), cloth us (in His robe of righteousness), and give us hope and purpose for our lives.   This, to me, is the true Christmas spirit.  I recognize this spirit in Narayanan Krishnan, and he isn’t even of the Christian faith.

True Christmas spirit  isn’t something that we “get into”  in December and then leave behind in January.   It lives on and  keeps on giving all year round.  It is interesting to note that I see this spirit of Christmas in someone who doesn’t even celebrate Christmas.  It is sad to me that some people are so caught up in defending their Christian faith, criticizing others for taking the focus away from “the real meaning of Christmas,” that they themselves have forgotten what Christmas really is all about.  Christmas is a time to celebrate the spirit of giving, which God first demonstrated to us by giving us His Son.  This is a gift to ALL mankind, not just Christians.   Not everyone knows God, but He knows everyone, and all are His precious children.   So let the spirit of giving lives on in you all year round, giving to everyone alike, as God does.    Grace, love, forgiveness, and forbearance are all free gifts that you can give year round!

The Gift Goes On by Sandi Patti

The Father gave the Son
The Son gave the Spirit
The Spirit gives us life
So we can give the Gift of love
And the Gift goes on
And the Gift goes on
And the Gift goes on
And the Gift goes on

Don’t you love to get a present
Wrapped up in a Christmas bow
God gave each of us a present
On that night so long ao
It’s a Gift that keeps on giving
If our spirits can receive
It’s the secret joy of living
If our hearts can just believe

And the Gift goes on
And the Gift goes on
And the Gift goes on
And the Gift goes on and on and on

And the Gift goes on
And the Gift goes on
And the Gift goes on
And the Gift goes on and on and on

When your life is full of Christmas
Then your life is full of love
You can give away the present
That began with God above
Just like ripples in the water
The circles of our love extend
What was started with the Father
Is a Gift that has no end

When I was a teenager, I was cast for the first time as Mary in the Christmas play at church, and it got me to think of what the birth of Jesus Christ was like from her perspective.  And later on, when I became a mother, holding my own newborn baby, I could relate even more.  This song really touched a chord with me.  What did it feel like to hold God in your arms, to know that He trusted you enough to have chosen you to care for his incarnation?  One line from this song “When you kiss your little baby, you’ve kissed the face of God” gets me to tear up every time.  What ultimate act of love, that God would come to us in the most vulnerable form of a newborn baby.  He came to dwell among us, to  bridge the gap between humanity and God, and to cure us of the sin sickness forever.  In Jesus, humanity finally could see the face of God!

This song is so popular and has been performed by many artists.  The video I’ve picked is the performance by Mark Lowry and Buddy Greene themselves, with a little background info in the conversation before the singing (sorry, I couldn’t find a video of just the singing).  I think it’s interesting to note that Mark Lowry is a comedian, and it’s just like God’s sense of humor to me, that He would pick a comedian to write this very serious lyrics that paints such a great picture of His love for humanity.

Mary Did You Know? By Mark Lowry and Buddy Greene

Mary did you know that your baby boy will one day walk on water?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?
Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?
This child that you’ve delivered, will soon deliver you.

Mary did you know that your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will calm a storm with his hand?
Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
And when you kiss your little baby, you’ve kissed the face of God.

The blind will see, the deaf will hear and the dead will live again.
The lame will leap, the dumb will speak, the praises of the lamb.

Mary did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will one day rule the nations?
Did you know that your baby boy is heaven’s perfect Lamb?
This sleeping child you’re holding is the great I am.

The Twelve Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
A partridge in a pear tree.

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree.

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Three French hens, two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Six geese a laying. . .

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Seven swans a swimming. . .

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Eight maids a milking. . .

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Nine ladies dancing. . .

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Ten lords a leaping. . .

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Eleven pipers piping. . .

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Twelve drummers drumming. . .

I don’t think I need to include the Lyrics to this one.  :-)

For those of you lucky enough to have the “Christmas In The Stars” LP or CD, where this song came from, you’d be happy to know that you have made a good investment. The CD is now selling on Amazon for over $150 brand new, and $40 used. I guess it has become a collector’s item.

This past week, Facebook users had been asked to change their profile pictures to their favorite cartoon characters from childhood to make a statement against child abuse and raise awareness of the problem.   As an adult survivor of child abuse who’s making sure that the abuse doesn’t get passed on to the next generation, I have been encouraged to see so many people taking a stand against child abuse.   However, if changing the profile picture is all that everyone does, the situation will remain the same, and the children are not being helped at all by this “campaign.”    Please, consider doing something more practical to help solve this problem.

My friend Angie Wensley has made a list of practical things that people can do to make a difference.  I have included the list below the song lyrics.   None of us can do everything on this list, but all of us can do something!  So please, take the time to look through the list and pick at least one thing to do to make a difference.  Thank you!

Alyssa Lies  by Jason Michael Carroll

My little girl met a new friend
Just the other day
On the playground at school
Between the tires and the swings
But she came home with tear-filled eyes
And she said to me “Daddy, Alyssa Lies”

Well I just brushed it off at first
‘Cause I didn’t know how much my little girl had been hurt
Or the things she had seen
I wasn’t ready when I said you can tell me
And she said

Chorus
Alyssa Lies
To the classroom
Alyssa lies
Everyday at school
Alyssa lies
To the teachers
As she tries to cover every bruise

My little girl laid her head down
That night to go to sleep
As I stepped out the room I heard her say
A prayer so soft and sweet
God bless my mom and my dad
And my new friend Alyssa
Oh I know she needs you bad because. . .

(Chorus)

I had the worst night of sleep in years
As I tried to think of a way to calm her fears
I knew exactly what I had to do
But when we got to school on Monday I heard the news

My little girl asked me why everybody looked so sad
The lump in my throat grew bigger
With every question that she asked
Until I felt the tears run down my face
And I told her that Alyssa wouldn’t be at school today

‘Cause She doesn’t lie
In the classroom
She doesn’t lie
Anymore at school
Alyssa lies
With Jesus
Because there’s nothing anyone would do
Tears filled my eyes
When my little girl asked me why
Alyssa lies
Oh Daddy,oh daddy, tell me why
Alyssa lies

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Practical Ways That You Can Help Stop or Prevent Child Abuse
by Angie Wensley

Santa’s Gone Surfin’
(written by John Zambetti, from 1981′s Malibooz Rule!)

O little town of Malibu…

Oh, Ho! Ho! Ho!

Every year, around Christmas Eve
I check the sky for a sleigh
And get really peeved

So I said “Papa, where is that jolly guy?”
And he said, “Son, it’s time that you realized
Santa’s gone surfin’
Santa’s gone surfin’
Santa’s gone surfin
Oh, Ho! Ho! Ho!

See, when Santa comes to Malibu
He leaves his bells at home
Wears a red wetsuit

He drives a custom van
So the toys fit in
He’s got a twelve foot board
With a triple fin

Santa’s gone surfin’
Santa’s gone surfin’
Santa’s gone surfin
Oh, Ho! Ho! Ho!

Ooh ooh we ooh
Fa la la la la
Ooh ooh we ooh
Fa la la la la
Ooh ooh we ooh

Gloria…

When Santa cruised through San Diego

Last Christmas Eve, I went to Malibu
It was a silent night, but the waves were huge
And comin’ through the tube
What do you suppose?
There was Santa
Blocking Rudolf’s nose

Santa’s gone surfin’
Santa’s gone surfin’
Santa’s gone surfin

This Christmas Eve
No need to stay up late
Eat those cookies yourself
Don’t clean your fireplace
And, hey, I don’t wanna see no frowns
‘Cause he’ll get to you
Ho ho, when the waves are down

Santa’s gone surfin’
Santa’s gone surfin’
Santa’s gone surfin
Santa’s gone surfin’
Santa’s gone surfin’
Santa’s gone surfin
Oh, Ho! Ho! Ho
Santa’s gone surfin’
Santa’s gone surfin’
Santa’s gone surfin
Oh, Ho! Ho! Ho
Santa’s gone surfin’
Santa’s gone surfin’
Santa’s gone surfin
Merry Christmas boys and girls
Ho, ho, ho!
Have a real cool yule!
And remember, Santa says
That the Malibooz rule!
Ho, ho, ho!
On Donder, on Kahuna, on Blitzen,
On Gidget, on Hodad,
Yeah!
Wait a minute, Rudolf
My beard, it’s caught in the darn door!
Santa’s gone surfin…

On the surface, the song appears to be a request for an outrageous gift by a child who thinks that Christmas is all about getting gifts.  But as I ponder upon the song along with Jesus’ statement that unless we be like children, we will never be able to enter the kingdom of God, I started seeing this song differently.

Now, granted, there are children whose parents have spoiled them with material things while neglecting their deeper needs; where material gifts are all they ever get from the parents, and so the gifts become to them the proof that their parents love them.   They then become obsessed with getting gifts and seem insatiable no matter how much they receive.   But, I think a request for outrageous gifts can also come from a child who isn’t a spoiled brat at all, but rather is totally secure in the parent-child relationship; a child whose Daddy showers her with his attention and time, and she already knows he deeply loves her; who fully believes  that Daddy will grant her wish if that is what he deems to be the best for her, and is willing to accept whatever is given because the gift is simply that, just a gift, and not a proof of her Daddy’s love.  In other words, this child already knows without a doubt that her daddy loves her and her deepest needs are already met.  So while she feels totally free to ask for outrageous gifts from her Daddy,  she is also satisfied with whatever her Daddy decides to give (or not give) to her, because she doesn’t need a gift to prove that he loves her.

In my relationship with my Father God, I can see a time back when I was younger, when I would constantly search for proof that God loves me, and when I didn’t get what I prayed for, I would wonder if He cared, or I would feel that perhaps I didn’t do enough to earn what I asked for.   Looking back, it probably had a lot to do with the fact that my own earthly father was abusive and distant, and I never felt loved or accepted by him.  I’d spent the first 20 years of my life trying to earn both my earthly father’s and God’s favor.  Long story short, I’d since been broken and healed, learned about true unconditional love from God and forgave my earthly father (you can read my other blogs to fill in the missing years).   Since my early 20′s, after coming to the end of my own effort, I’d been simply taking God at His word, living out the truth that God loves me unconditionally; always had before I’d tried or messed up anything; and always will no matter what I do or don’t do in the future.  His love for me  is completely independent of my performance, and is solely dependent on His own character, which is pure love.

The Kingdom of God boils down to this for me:  A pure unconditional love that first comes to me from my Father through Jesus, then when fully comprehended by me, flows out to others.   And it takes the simplicity of a child, to see yourself as completely  incapable of doing anything to please Him (like a newborn baby), to be able to accept His unconditional love.  Thus, you must be like a child to enter the Kingdom of God.  And as I am totally secure, knowing I am worth much to God, feeling completely free to say anything to Him, I then can ask anything of Him.  He may not give me what I ask for, and it’s OK by me, because I already have what I really want most, to be loved, accepted, and valued.

So, once in a while, I think it’s fun to ask God for a hippopotamus.  You never know. . . He just might think it’d be fun to give me one!

I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas (As performed by Gayla Peevy)

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
Don’t want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy
I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
I don’t think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won’t have to use our dirty chimney flue
Just bring him through the front door, that’s the easy thing to do

I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
To see a hippo hero standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses
I only like hippopotamuses
And hippopotamuses like me too

Mom says the hippo would eat me up, but then
Teacher says a hippo is a vegeterian

There’s lots of room for him in our two-car garage
I’d feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage
I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
To see a hippo hero standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles or rhinoceroseses
I only like hippopotamuseses
And hippopotamuses like me too!

Christmas is so many things to different people.   And some Christians would frown upon Christmas songs about Santa, sleigh, and elves.  I can understand where they’re coming from, because I used to be that way, but I’ve learned that it’s possible to cherish the real meaning while at the same time, enjoy the magical childlike excitement of the season too.   After all, it is a season of joy, isn’t it?   So, with this song, I’m sending the “warm and fuzzy”  feeling to all my friends in freezing Christmas climate zones.

Warm and Fuzzy (As performed by Billy Gilman)

Sleigh bells ringing
Choir singing,
Wonder what old Santa’s bringing;
It’s the warm and fuzzy time of year.

Snowflakes fall;
The temp is dropping;
Families out together shoppin’
It’s the warm and fuzzy time of year.

Elves are working over time;
Making all our toys ;
Reindeer hooves on all the roofs;
Of good little girls and boys.

Big old cups of steamy cider
Fall asleep by a cozy fire
It’s the warm and fuzzy time of year

Elves are working over time;
Making all our toys;
Reindeer hooves on all the roofs;
Of good little girls and boys.

Big old cups of steamy cider;
Fall asleep by a cozy fire;
It’s the warm and fuzzy time of year.

It’s the warm and fuzzy time of year.

Spoken: Santa’s on his way…

One of the things I appreciate about our move from warm California to much-colder Indiana is that here in Indiana, Christmas looks a lot more like the Christmas scenes I’ve seen on Christmas cards.  At night, when I look outside my front window, I can see the neighbor’s houses lit up in Christmas lights with snow on the roofs and everywhere on the ground.   And on a clear night, I can see the stars in the sky too.  So pretty!  Of course, these scenes are pretty to look at, but not so enjoyable when you’re really in it, especially when you’re driving!   I prefer to enjoy the snow from the inside of my warm house, sipping hot cocoa and sitting by the fireplace.  And, as the song lyrics goes, since we’ve no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow!
As performed by Dean Martin in 1966

Oh the weather outside is frightful;
But the fire is so delightful;
And since we’ve no place to go;
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Man it doesn’t show signs of stopping;
And I brought some corn for popping;
The lights are turned down low;
Let it snow, let it snow.

When we finally kiss goodnight;
How I’ll hate going out in the storm;
But if you really hold me tight;
All the way home I’ll be warm.

And the fire is slowing dying;
And my dear we’re still good-byeing;
But as long as you’d love me so;
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

When we finally kiss goodnight;
How I’ll hate going out in the storm;
But if you really grab me tight;
All the way home I’ll be warm.

And the fire is slowing dying;
And my dear we’re still good-byeing;
But as long as you’d love me so;
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Touch of the Master’s Hand (as performed by Wayne Watson)

Well it was battered and scared,
And the auctioneer felt it was hardly worth his while,
To waste much time on the old violin but he held it up with a smile;
Well it sure ain’t much but its all we got left I guess we aught to sell it too,
Oh, now who’ll start the bid on this old violin?
Just one more and we’ll be through.

And then he cried one give me one dollar,
Who’ll make it two only two dollars who’ll make it three?
Three dollars twice now that’s a good price,
Now who’s gonna bid for me?
Raise up your hand now, don’t wait any longer, the auctions about to end;
Who’s got four Just one dollar more to bid on this old violin?

Well the air was hot and the people stood around as the sun was setting low,
From the back of the crowd a gray haired man,
Came forward and picked up the bow;
He wiped the dust from the old violin then he tightened up the strings,
Then he played out a melody pure and sweet, sweeter than the Angels sing;
And then the music stopped and the auctioneer,
With a voice that was quiet and low he said now what am I bid,
For this old violin and he held it up with a bow.

And then he cried out one give me one thousand,
Who’ll make it two only two thousand who’ll make it three?
Three thousand twice you know that’s a good price,
Common who’s gonna to bid for me?
And the people cried out what made the change, we don’t understand?
Then the auctioneer stopped and he said with a smile,
It was the touch of the Master’s hand.

You know there’s many a man with his life out of tune,
Battered and scared with sin:
And he’s auctioned cheap to a thankless world much like that old violin;
Oh, but then the Master comes,
And that old foolish crowd they never understand,
The worth of a soul and the change that is rought,
Just by one touch of the Masters hand.

And then he cried out one give me one thousand,
Who’ll make it two only two thousand who’ll make it three?
Three thousand twice you know that’s a good price,
Common who’s gonna bid for me?
And the people cried out what made the change we don’t understand?
Then the auctioneer stopped and he said with a smile,
It was the touch, that’s all it was; it was the touch of the Master’s hand,
It was the touch of the Master’s hand;
Oh, it was the touch of the Master’s hand.

Almost Time for Christmas by Doug Wayne

Almost time for Christmas
The lights have lined our town.
There’s a manger in my neighbor’s yard
Reigndeer two doors down.

Almost Time for Christmas
The Santa Clause is here.
On cards and cakes
And cardboard plates
That famous face appears.

Almost time for Christmas
There’s people everywhere.
With toys to buy.
And bows to tie.
But not much time to spare.

Almost time for Christmas
I’d like to slow things down.
And give more of my time and love.
To those I care about.

Almost time for Christmas
My favorite gifts are free.
Late night talks
And long slow walks
Mean the most to me.

Almost time for Christmas
There’s people everywhere
With toys to buy
And bows to tie
But not much time to spare.

Almost time for Christmas
This year I’m gonna try
To give more of my time and love
To the peaceful Holy night
There’s still time for Christmas.

Happy Thanksgiving!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thankful (As performed by Josh Groban)

Somedays we forget to look around us;
Somedays we can’t see the joy that surrounds us;
So caught up inside ourselves;
We take when we should give.

So for tonight we pray for what we know can be;
And on this day we hope for what we still can’t see.
It’s up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more;
There’s so much to be thankful for.

Look beyond ourselves;
There’s so much sorrow;
It’s way too late to say
I’ll cry tomorrow;
Each of us must find our truth;
It’s so long overdue.

So for tonight we pray for what we know can be;
And every day we hope for what we still can’t see’
It’s up to us to be the change;
And even though we all can still do more;
There’s so much to be thankful for.

Even with our differences
There is a place we’re all connected;
Each of us can find each other’s light.

So for tonight we pray for what we know can be;
And on this day we hope for what we still can’t see.
It’s up to us to be the change;
And even though this world needs so much more;

There’s so much to be thankful for.

“I Will Survive,” a parody of Gloria Gayner’s song of the same title.

“You Can’t Gobble Me,” a parody of “You Can’t Hurry Love” by The Supremes.

“We Will Eat You,” a parody of Queen’s “We Will Rock You.”

“Mr. Turkey,” a parody of “Mr. Sandman” by the Chordettes.

“Can’t Stuff This,” a parody of M.C. Hammer’s “Can’t Touch This”

“Stuff It,” a parody of Devo’s “Whip It.”

Now go and stuff a turkey!

And so, I thank Him with this song today.  It’s “My Tribute” written by Andrae Crouch in 1972, and this recording is by one of my favorite Gospel singers, Evie, in 1979 or 1980.

Today’s “song of thanks” is “I Could Never Have Imagined” by Sandi Patti.   This recording is an updated version from her Sandi’s Song album in 1991.  She made another recording back in the late 70′s or early 80′s that I’ve also included below.

If I have to sum up what I’m thankful for into one single thing, it would definitely have to be  the changes in my life as a result of knowing Jesus Christ,  not just as a historical or religious figure, but as a person who loves me unconditionally and has deep affection for me, and in whom I can confide about anything at all.  Seeing the world and people through His eyes has given me hope, encouragement, and love for others that I could not have on my own.  My relationships with people are better, my outlook on life is better.  I really could not have imagined the changes, and I’m so thankful for all that He’s done in me.

I Could Never Have Imagined by Marshall Lawrence

All alone within my fantasies I lived
No one seemed to want the things I had to give
Just another person on an overcrowded earth
Then I met You and You showed me
How to have a real rebirth

Chorus:
I could never have imagined the changes
You have made within my life
The way You took away my hopelessness
The way You opened up my eyes
I could never have imagined the charming world
You taught me how to see
Thank you Jesus
For all you’ve done for me

The moment that I met you face to face
I could feel inside a change had taken place
Had somebody told me
You could change my life this way
I would never have believed them
I’d have laughed right in their face
(Repeat Chorus)

I have always appreciated Ray Stevens’ humorous way of stating his opinion and getting to the heart of a situation.     And while I have compassion for the plights of the illegal immigrants, I have to agree that the complaints of many American citizens, humorously portrayed in this video, are valid, and a solution to this problem is long overdue.

This problem is only going to continue to get worse unless something is done very soon.   The problem has now become so complex, the solution to “deport them all”  is too simplistic.    For example, the illegal immigrants now make up such a large percentage of “cheap labor” in America–they are the ones who do the jobs that better educated American citizens don’t want, such as harvesting produce out in the hot Summer sun, or cleaning the dirty public restrooms.   To suddenly reduce this workforce by deporting all illegal aliens would have a great impact on our economy.    Costs of goods and services will go up due to rise in labor costs (no American citizen would do the same job for the same low wages currently paid to illegal immigrants, and the employers will now have the payroll expenses that didn’t exist before when they were paying illegal workers under the table).   The solution would need to allow time for this country to adjust from the transition of this workforce being made up primarily of  illegal immigrants to being predominantly youths needing part-time jobs, or less educated U.S. citizens willing to do these menial tasks–the way it used to be before these jobs were gradually given to illegal immigrants over the decades.

Then there’s the issue of illegal aliens giving birth to children in the United States.  These children, according to the U.S. laws, are U.S. citizens by birthright.   We can’t deport the children along with their parents, nor will it be right to deport the parents and make them leave the children behind.   Yes, I know well that many illegal immigrants take advantage of this.   And so far, the government has avoided the issue, allowing the parents to continue to live in the U.S. illegally, paying no taxes, while taking advantage of the hard working American citizens.   Is it a wonder why there’s now so much resentment toward illegal immigrants?    This problem has to be addressed now!   The compassionate and fair solution would be to require the parents to become legal citizens of this country if they want to remain here with their children.   And while I’m all for cultural diversity, being of Chinese origin myself,  I believe it is completely reasonable that everyone who wants to live and work in the U.S. ought to learn to speak, read, and write its official language, which is English.

I’m no historian, nor am I an economist.     What I’ve written is just from my own life experience and observation.   I’m just a hard working U.S. citizen, who immigrated legally with my family from Thailand when I was a teenager.    I carried a “green card” for 6 years before I became an American citizen (minimum requirement was 5 years).     I had to learn English.   Back then, there were no bilingual classes in school, at least not  in Thai or Chinese (my native languages).   Today, just about everything is bilingual.  I remember when I was in California, there were voters information booklets in Spanish and Chinese.   Even the Driver’s Manual from the Department of Motor Vehicle had a Spanish version (not sure if there’s a Chinese one or not, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there was one).

I understand that some people are too old to learn a new language.  My grandmother spoke only Chinese all her life, and my mother speaks broken English.   But my brothers and I were the ones translating for them.    I don’t believe it is right for the Federal government (or state government) to take the tax dollars from U.S. citizens to print things that are for citizens only anyway in any other language besides English.  Let the translation be done privately by their own family members, or  private organizations.    There is a saying, “Give the man a fish, feed him for a day; teach the man to fish, feed him for life.”    I think instead of printing literature in many languages and enabling the people to never learn English (and then they keep demanding everything in their native languages), we would do better to take the money and open up free classes to teach them English.    And I’ll bet, if everything in America is in English, and this truly is a foreign country to the Mexicans, there will be less of them coming over the borderline.

I’m thankful that America welcomes immigrants from other countries, so I could come  here.    I find great joy in the cultural diversities around me and love meeting people from different countries.    I just don’t think it is right that some people can sneak  into this country illegally through the back door, avoiding all responsibilities of citizenship, yet reaping all the benefits as if they have citizenship.

But, as I think of how to handle the problem, I am hesitant to act out of anger or resentment.   I think to do so, I would lose a part of my own humanity.   I believe I become less human the moment I cannot see myself in another person’s shoes and feel their pain.    I can see the issues and feel the pain from both sides of the fence.    I still don’t know what the right solution is to this problem.    But I hope that as the citizens of this nation brainstorm together (hopefully in peaceful discussions and not hateful debates), we will come up with a solution that not only addresses all the complexity of this problem, but also stay true to the compassionate spirit of the poem inscribed on the Statute of Liberty:

“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore,
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Some are saying, but look, these Christians are also rallying help for the Haitian people, so they do have compassion for them.  Let me ask you this:   When you are down on your luck, through things not in your control (like unemployment, or flood, or earthquake), does it make you feel good to receive help from people who have made it clear to you that you’ve “brought this upon yourself”?   Well then, how do you think the Haitians would feel receiving help from these Christians who have first condemned them?

My heart breaks for the Haitian people who heard these proclamations.   These words cannot be farther from the truth!   My spirit is grieving at the pain caused by these reckless words from people who claim to know God.   By their words, these Christians are showing me (and the world) that they don’t know the heart of God for people at all.  Instead of being the bearers of Good News, they bring condemnation.

Oh, if these Christians would just understand that through Jesus, God has already made the whole world righteous before Him, that ALL humanity has been restored to our Creator, and we (ALL humanity) can approach God as confidently as His children, and even climb onto His lap if we want to.   He is always welcoming us, ALL of us, whether we believe or not, with open arms.  Jesus has finished the job of making us right with God once and for all, for ALL mankind, for ALL eternity.  THIS is the true Gospel that brings joy and peace!  THIS is the real Good News!

If I can have the audience of these insecure Christians, I’d like to tell them:

You can be set free from this insecurity, to never have to feel the rollercoaster of feeling high or low depending on your performance again,  if you’d only embrace the truth of God’s unconditional love for you, and accept all that Jesus has already done for you.    Repentance is nothing more than a change of mind to accept Jesus as who He said He is (the Son of God who came to earth in the flesh), and thereby accepting this Father-child relationship with God that’s been given to you before you were even born.    And all that’s required for righteous living is to acknowledge that God is real and loves you deeply, and then just relax and let Him change you through His unconditional love from the inside out.   He is gentle and kind, and all the while never keeping score of your performance.   The Christian To Do List that you feel you need to do in order to be “good Christians” (which changes depending on which group you’re with)  is a religion that people came up with (by twisting God’s truth) to control other people.

Come to really know God for yourself, instead of through someone else.   Listen to the Holy Spirit in your heart, and stop following those man-made rules of the Pharisees.   Let God reveal His unconditional love to you, and stop keeping scores (of either your own or others’ performance).  Rest from your own strife to be righteous, and you will have no more need to put down or condemn other people.

How do I know this?   I know this because I have lived the insecure life of a Pharisee and nearly died in the process.  I am thankful for my second chance at life, and am living each day in the freedom and joy of His unconditional love.   God loves you very much.   Don’t waste anymore time living like a Pharisee.  Come and experience His love for you, then you will really have Good News to share with the world!

Over the years, especially the last 2 years, I’ve had to say good-bye to many of these heroes as they left this physical world for the spiritual one.  I have missed them terribly.   I get sad whenever I am struck with the realization that I can’t just pick up the phone to call them and hear their voices anymore, or be able to visit them, or ask them for advice, or. . .

This morning, as I’m grieving the recent loss of two of my heroes, Betty Malone and Uncle Ben, I am aware of something new.  Well, it’s not really new because I’ve heard it said before, and even said it myself, that our loved ones live on inside us, but this time I see a pictorial representation of it that I never saw before.    Betty, Uncle Ben, Karl Moore,  Becky Silbaugh,  my grandmother, Doc, and all the heroes that had gone before them, aren’t really gone at all.    And the reason is:   When these heroes loved me and gave of themselves to me, their gifts had been used by God as seeds in the garden of my heart.   These seeds have become plants and trees that have produced flowers and fruits.    This garden is still thriving, as God tends to it, doing whatever is needed to keep the seeds of love growing.

Love can’t be destroyed by death.   Love keeps on growing inside the hearts of those who have been touched by it.   Sometimes the seeds of love are watered by tears of grief, as those who are still living yearn for the departed loved ones to be here physically.  But after the rain, there always is sunshine.  As I look inside the garden of my heart, I see here in a sunny patch, a yellow sunflower that grew from the seed of Betty’s love, still blooming brightly, cheering me on to keep writing and share my heart with the world.   And over there, in the shade, a violet that grew from Uncle Ben’s words of encouragement the last time I saw him is motivating me to keep singing.   And in the pond, the lilies that grew from Carl Lazzereschi’s generosity and Karl Moore’s affection are there to remind me that God is always with me even through hard times.   The whole garden is splashed with flowers of many different colors, and in the air I can feel the love that they all represent.  Yes, they are all here, my heroes, still living on in my heart.  And when I visit this garden, I am comforted.

Thank you, my heroes, for letting God use you to make my garden so beautiful!

Over the years, people and religious entities had tried to convince me that by following their beliefs and practices, I would be following Jesus and get closer to God.   They all could pull verses out of the Bible to back their claim (now I see that they would take these verses out of context and totally disregard God’s true nature that I have come to know since then).    I had followed some of these beliefs and practices, and had learned at nearly the cost of my own life that a religious belief system can be just as addictive and destructive to a person as substance abuse.

We are all born with a need to be loved and accepted, a need to feel that we are of worth and important.  God offers to fulfill this need for us through a personal relationship with Him that’s not based on anything we can do, but on His unconditional love for us alone.   Jesus came in the flesh to show us this love.  We don’t have to earn it, we just need to open up our hearts and accept it.   And because it is unconditional, we can never lose it either.  Nothing we can do will ever separate us from God’s love.  Yeah, it really is that good and simple!   But until we respond to His invitation for a relationship based only on His grace, and are changed from inside out by His love, we really won’t understand the simplicity and purity of this unconditional love, and we will forever try to fulfill this need within us through pleasing those whose approval we seek (having our sense of worth go up and down depending on how well we please them); and we will make others earn our approval as well.   We will also be vulnerable to those who want to manipulate and use us–all they have to do is feed our need for love and approval, make us feel important and needed, and they have us right where they want us.   It’s my observation that the fear of rejection and the need for approval are the two strongest tools used by people who want to control other people.

Jesus doesn’t use deception to manipulate you.  He doesn’t use the bait and switch tactics.  He doesn’t lure you to a party and then enslave you to a list of Do’s and Don’t's.   He said His yoke is easy, His burden is light.  And I’ve found it to really be so!  You simply only have to acknowledge that He exists and invite Him to be a part of your life.  Listen to His quiet voice in your heart, and follow Him where He leads.  Get to know the people that He brings into your life and see them through His eyes.   Love them as He shows you how to love.   Just relax into His unconditional love and acceptance of you, then let your thoughts be challenged by His higher thoughts, and your ways be changed by His better ways.  Before you know it, you have become a vessel of His love to be poured out to others.

Religious people who are still trying to earn God’s approval for themselves will not be able to accept what I had just said in the previous paragraph.  They will say that it’s too simple; that you need to study the Bible, go to church, and do all these “Christian” things in order to grow spiritually.  I can tell you that I have done all that, and I have found that these things won’t do any good at all if you do not have a relationship with Jesus and have a clear understanding of His grace first.  For it is only with that understanding can you begin to learn to see things through His eyes.  Without learning to listen to that voice in your heart, which is His Spirit teaching you and guiding you, you’ll only be following an empty religion, and vulnerable to be indoctrinated by other people into their interpretation of who God is.  And you will feel fine until you fail to perform to the standard of that religion.    You will feel good or bad about yourself depending on your performance.  But in a genuine relationship with Jesus, you can wake up every morning feeling loved just as you are, regardless of your performance.   And you’ll also be able to accept and love others just as they are, regardless of their performance.   That is how Jesus transforms us into His likeness.

Yep!  Following Jesus really is that simple!  The lyrics to this song is very close to what I hear Jesus saying to me everyday:

Follow me where I go;

What I do and who I know;

Make it part of you to be a part of me.

Follow me up and down;

All the way and all around;

Take my hand and say you’ll follow me.

I still remember the first time my family met Karl in November of 1991.  Paul and I only had 2 young kids then–Gawain had just turned 5, and Tristan was 11 months old.   It was our first visit to a small church in Castro Valley, CA, and as we walked into the foyer, up came this middle-aged man with a broad smile to greet us.  What caught my attention was his tie–it had large, bright pink pigs all over it.  Instantly, I knew I would like Karl!   Over the years that my family had attended that church, one of the things I looked forward to each Sunday morning was seeing what  loud tie Karl would wear to church that day.

Though the loud tie was what caught my attention, what endeared Karl to my heart was his spirit, and the love that he had shown to me and my family.   As a young family trying to make ends meet in CA, the toughest time for Paul and I came on New Year’s eve of 1992, when Paul lost his job.  By this time, we’d added another child to our family– Rebekah, and she was about 3 months old.   For the next 4 months while Paul was still looking for a permanent job, Karl, along with Carl Lazzereschi (another dear family friend who had also gone ahead to be with Jesus) would regularly come to our apartment, each holding two bags of groceries.  Then they would visit with us, offering encouragement and praying with us.  My family and I will never forget the love Karl and his family had shown to us. 

When my family moved from Castro Valley to Salida in 1995, we continued to keep in touch with Karl.   When Karl moved his family out to Modesto about 5 years later, and we also moved to a country property in Modesto, we naturally reconnected and visited each other on a regular basis.   Life was good then.   I can’t remember if we ever told Karl, but our kids had sort of adopted him as their grandpa, and he was helping our kids heal from losing their own grandfather (Paul’s dad) shortly before Karl moved out to Modesto.   The kids (some are not kids anymore now) still remember their visits to Karl’s home, following him around as he proudly showed them his garden, and they especially remember the fruit hedge and grapes! 

But alas, the good times did not last as long as we would have liked.  In January 2002, Chris, Karl’s first wife, passed away.  We walked through that valley of grief with Karl, grateful for an opportunity to be there for him in his time of need, as he had been there for us.   Karl loved to play pinochle, and apparently had a lot of practice during his army days.  Paul and I didn’t have a chance!   Week after week, we would go play pinochle with Karl, and the better he felt, the worse he would beat us. 

Paul and I still remember how much fun we had going fishing with Karl, just parking on the side of the highway and hiking out to the river.   Karl taught me how to grab the catfish just right so they can’t hurt me, whack each of them over the head, then clean and filet them.   Karl wasn’t quite old enough to be my father, but he was certainly one of the men that God had used to help me heal from the absence of a father’s love in my childhood.  About 7 months later, in August of 2002, we were so glad to see Karl coming out of his grief and going to Germany to visit his relatives.   I still remember how happy Karl was to embrace life again, to believe that he could survive without Chris by his side.  Little did we know of the tragedy to come which would take Karl into a valley none of us ever expected to go through.

While in Germany, Karl was riding in a car when it was hit by another car.   The accident was so bad, and Karl’s body was so severely damaged that the doctors had to purposely put Karl in a coma for about 3 months to give his body a chance to heal.    In late December, Karl was flown back to the U.S. in time to be with his family for Christmas, albeit he was still in a hospital, and unable to feel or move much of his body.  We were just glad that he was alive and back with us again.

We visited Karl as often as we could while he was at the rehab center, praying with him, and encouraging him to keep trying to regain his mobility.  Miraculously, Karl healed beyond what the medical professionals ever thought he would, and he was able to go home to continue his healing there.  We continued to visit Karl each week, as he fought the odds to regain the control of the muscles in his body again, and it was so wonderful when Karl regained enough of his upper body control to be able to sit up and beat us soundly in pinochle!    I couldn’t believe how happy I was to lose a game.

In September 2003, my family moved from Modesto, CA to Carmel, IN, but we continued to keep in touch with Karl.  We were delighted to hear about his  progress in physical therapy, getting closer and closer to being able to walk.   And we were so joyous to hear the news that Karl had fallen in love again and getting married to Karen.  We were glad that Karl would not be alone anymore.

In Summer of 2005, my family made a trip back to California to visit our relatives and friends, and of course, we stopped by to see Karl and meet Karen.    I still remember how great I felt to see Karl with Karen, so happy, so full of life, and making the best of things again.

But Karl was also living in constant pain.  He had to take so many pills just for his body to function in the way that healthy people take for granted.   Some people who don’t know Karl would say that he’s lost faith, lost hope, gave up, etc.    But I believe it’s the opposite.  I believe that Karl knew without a doubt that God loves him very much, and that there is a life better than the one we’re living.    It was his faith in what lies beyond that motivated him to stop taking his medication, to refuse medical intervention.   Perhaps there comes a time in a human soul, when the effort of keeping this temporal, malfunctioning body alive just isn’t worth it anymore, and what life there is here just pales in comparison to what lies beyond.  Perhaps at such a time, it makes sense to refuse medical intervention and simply let nature take its course.  Perhaps depression clouded Karl’s judgement and he couldn’t see how very much Karen and his family would miss him, and instead could only see himself as a burden to them.  I don’t know exactly what went on in Karl’s mind.  I only know that once Karl set his mind on something, you’d stand a better chance betting it would snow in Bangkok than persuading him to change his mind.   Some calls this stubbornness, but I prefer to call it steadfastness.  It’s this same steadfastness that carried him through those months of rehabilitation, that urged him on to defy the odds and confounded the medical professionals.  Karl simply set his mind on going to his permanent home instead of staying in this deteriorating one.

Karl, I will miss you, but I am glad that you are not in pain anymore.  And boy, not only can you walk without a cane now, I’ll bet you’re running and dancing!  Oh heck, you’re probably flying!

Don’t forget to reserve a spot for me at the card table.

 [Note:  Apparently embedding has been disabled for the Susan Boyle video.  Click here  to go directly to Youtube to view the video.]

Watching Susan Boyle performed on Britain’s Got Talent made me cry, because like Susan, I’ve enjoyed singing since I was a little girl, and had dreamed of singing professionally.   Of all the things I’d ever done in life, I feel most fulfilled when I sing.  It’s hard to explain, but it’s like something in my spirit comes alive, and I feel like that’s what I was born to do.   It’s what brings me joy!

Like all children growing up, I would have different fantasies of what I’d like to do when I grow up.   Some were quickly set aside (like the dream of becoming a race car driver or gymnast–I found out quite early in life that I’m no athlete!  LOL!), but the desire to sing  has always remained deep in my heart.  But, other than singing in churches and winning a couple of contests in grade school, I never had the opportunity to make a career of singing.  As I got older and had a family (and my singing repertoire was reduced to singing Itsy Bitsy Spider and Brahms Lullaby) the dream of a singing career just became  more and more impossible. 

I admire Susan’s tenacity and courage.  It takes a lot of guts to go on this show where they expect only the young and beautiful to perform, and they openly sneered at her when she said she wanted to be a professional singer.   How delightful it was to see the faces of the judges and the people in the audience turned from cynicism and skepticism into total astonishment.  I will never tire of seeing that video over and over again!

Given my current life situation, I doubt I’d be going on the road to pursue my dream anytime soon, but I now have a motivation to give my vocal chord an exercise now and then, because I never know when that opportunity will come!  And what if the opportunity comes as much as 15 to 20 years later?  Well, that’s when the inspiration from Hazel McCallion will come in handy!   At the time of this interview, Hazel was 88 and she’s been a mayor of Mississauga for 31 years.  That means she didn’t become a mayor till she was 57.   That’s still over 10 years into the future for me!  If I live to be as old as Hazel, I still have 42  years left ahead of me from today.  That’s many years to accomplish something!  So, like Hazel, as long as I have my health, I will keep on dreaming my dream and living life to the fullest!

Thinking along this line reminds me of Grandma Moses who didn’t start painting till she was in her 70′s, after having to give up embroidery due to arthritis, and in the last 3 decades of her life, had a successful career as an artist.   Corrie Ten Boom, whose life became well-known through the movie The Hiding Place, was well beyond middle-aged at the time.  And I’m sure I’ll find many more examples if I search the Internet, of people who did not let their age keep them from pursuing their dreams or living life to the fullest.

The things that I enjoy doing–singing, writing, photography–are all things that one can do at just about any age.   As long as I have good health, there is no reason why I cannot keep pursuing my dream.  I’m not able to do much at this time while I’m raising a family, but I sure will be ready when I am finally free to go!

To dream the impossible dream. . .  

This is my quest. . .  to follow the star. . .  no matter how hopeless. . .  no matter how far. . .  to reach the unreachable star!

As I grow older with each passing Easter, this song has meant more and more to me as I experience each day the words that Alfred H. Ackley, the song’s author, wrote back in 1933. The song is called “He Lives,” and also referred to by “I Serve A Risen Savior,” and it goes like this:

I serve a risen Savior, He’s in this world today;
I know that He is living, whatever men may say.
I see His hands of mercy, I hear His voice of cheer;
And just the time I need Him, He’s always near.

Chorus:
He lives, He lives, Christ Jesus lives today;
He walks with me and talks with me, along life’s narrow way.
He lives, He lives, salvation to impart;
You ask me how I know He lives?
He lives within my heart!

In all the world around me I see His loving care,
And tho’ my heart grows weary, I never will despair.
I know that He is leading thro’ all the stormy blast;
The day of His appearing will come at last.
(Repeat Chorus)

Rejoice, rejoice, O Christians, lift up your voice and sing
Eternal halelujahs to Jesus Christ the King!
The Hope of all who seek Him, the Help of all who find,
None other is so loving, so good and kind.
(Repeat Chorus)

Yes, Jesus really lives within my heart! Each day, He’s working to change me to be more like Him, to see things through His eyes, to love others as He loves, to see beauty in people and situation where I once could not see. He didn’t just died on the cross, rose again, and was gone. He is with me today, living in me, always present to teach, to comfort, to guide, to heal, or just to hang out and share a few laughs! And all this is possible because of His sacrifice on the cross to cure me of my sin-sick heart. Because of His healing, I can have a relationship with Him more intimate than any other relationships. This thought reminds me of another hymn, In The Garden, by C. Austin Miles, 1912. The best part for me is the chorus:

And He walks with me and He talks with me,
And He tells me I am His own.
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known.

I cannot imagine a life without Jesus. As one who once attempted suicide back in 1984, believe me when I say that Jesus makes life worth living!

Happy Easter!

Gareth had a few seizures in infancy and toddlerhood that became a full seizure disorder in early childhood, and he then developed other symptoms that led to a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome, a very mild form of Autism, when he was about 10 years old.   It has been a challenge to deal with Asperger’s Syndrome, and more so because we homeschool.  There’ve been many moments when, if not for my love for him, I would have given up.   The longer time goes, the more it seems to me how prophetic this prayer that I uttered in his infancy was.  The things I hoped for in that song were the very things I needed to love Gareth as he is, to patiently try to understand and teach him (over and over again), to graciously forgive the many things he did that he “should have known better.”   I had no idea what the years would bring when I first wrote that song, but God did, and I believe He put that prayer in my heart to inspire me to become what Gareth needs.   And God did all this because He loves both of us.  I haven’t been perfect, of course, and there are things I did and said out of frustration that I wish I could take back, but I certainly would not have been able to love him and hang in there as well as I have without this inspiration.

I don’t know what lies ahead, and life can be so unpredictable with its valleys of grief and peaks of joy, but it gives me much peace to know that whatever is to come, my Father already knows way ahead of time and will prepare me for it.  I think I’m starting to know what that “peace beyond understanding”  is.

In case you want to know, the words of the song went like this:

Welcome, Dear Little One
(c) 1994 Sophie Doell

Welcome, Dear Little One,
What a blessed joy to be holding you close to me.
Little hands and little feet, curious eyes looking at me;
I wonder what you can see?

Do you see love, patience, and kindness?
Do you see hope for all that you can be?
Do you see grace that can forgive all wrong?
Do you see Jesus Christ living in me?

And soon, Dear Little One, you’ll be walking next to me.
Your teacher I will be.
And in that moment when you’re looking straight at me,
I wonder what you will see?

Will you see love, patience, and kindness?
Will you see hope for all that you can be?
Will you see grace that can forgive all wrong?
Will you see Jesus Christ living in me?

And someday when it’s time to let you go, my heart will long to know. . .

Will you have love, patience, and kindness?
Will you have hope that will pull you through?
Will you show grace that can forgive all wrong?
Will you have Jesus Christ living in you?

Welcome, Dear Little One.  It’s my prayer that I will be
Christ Jesus for you to see.

Welcome, Dear Little One!

***********************

We were about one week into our seven-week honeymoon camping itinerary, and had just arrived at Kings Canyon National Park in CA.  As I was setting the food out on the picnic table to prepare dinner, a squirrel wandered into our campsite.  Being an animal lover (my weakness is the fluffy furry ones), I played with the squirrel and took some pictures as it was roaming around our campsite.

All was fine until Paul left to get the firewood (to roast the marshmallows for the s’mores, of course).  That was when the cute fluffy squirrel turned into Super Nasty Squirrel.

As soon as Paul was out of sight, that squirrel hopped from the ground onto the picnic table and went straight for a package of Oreo Cookies.  At first I thought this was one of those Kodak Moments and started clicking away on my camera, when to my disbelief, that chubby-cheeked squirrel started dragging the package of Oreo Cookies away with its front paws!

Now, this was Double-Stuff Oreoes that we just bought from a store on the way to Kings Canyon that morning, and the next store on our itinerary was nearly 20 miles away.  There was NO WAY that I would give that squirrel our Oreoes!  So, I reached for the package and yanked it back, thinking this was all it would take to scare the squirrel away.

Well, that tiny squirrel had more muscles in its body than I thought.  It yanked back and nearly caused me to lose my balance!  I pulled again; and it pulled back again.  There we were, human and squirrel having a tug-of-war with a package of Oreo Cookies!

Then I had a brilliant idea. “I’ll just shake him off,” I thought.  So I started shaking the bag. But that squirrel hung on even tighter.  By now, I was holding the bag in mid air with the squirrel hanging on for dear life at the end of it.

“Just a little more shaking should do it,” I thought.  And so I started to spin around, in hope that the squirrel would get dizzy and let go.  Faster and faster I spun till I was the one getting dizzy, but that squirrel just would not let go.  Guess he thought Oreoes were special too.  He might have had a special sweetheart back in the woods or something.

Then, suddenly, while I was still spinning, the squirrel let go of the bag and ran quickly away.  As I was stumbling around trying to keep from falling, I saw Paul approaching the campsite.  So that’s what scared the squirrel away!  Of course, Paul didn’t see the squirrel and wondered what I was doing dancing with the Oreoes.  To this day, he still does not fully believe that there really was a squirrel.

That day, I learned that squirrels are a lot smarter than we give them credit for.  That Super Nasty Squirrel planned the heist from the beginning, playing his charm on me, waiting for the moment when “the big man” would leave, so he could steal from “the little woman.”   If Paul hadn’t come back when he did, I might have become exhausted from the struggle (or fainted from all that spinning), and that squirrel would have gotten away with the Oreoes!  Since that time, I haven’t taken anymore pictures of a squirrel and I watch my Oreoes VERY CLOSELY whenever I go camping.