Welcome to my blog!

A lot of people have blogs nowadays.  Many of them have some sort of theme or agenda such as green living, vegan diet, raising kids or raising goats.   And a lot of Christian blogs have the purpose to minister to the world in one area of faith or another.

Mine isn’t anything like them.  My blog is simply my way of processing stuff in my head that I had to let out somewhere.  You might call it a brain fart. 🙂

I’ve never really had a need to do a blog before, and I was content because I have been blessed with a husband who has the patience to listen to my musings and help me process things as I think out loud.  This works fine for the regular daytime hours, but not so well when I have insomnia. 

I occasionally wake up in the wee hours of the night with thoughts and ideas that I just can’t put aside and go back to sleep.  The problem with that is, like most people, Paul, my loving husband, is usually asleep at the time.   Bless his heart, all these years, he’s been kind enough to wake up with me, and we’d have wonderful conversations uninterrupted by our kids.

But as time marches on, we are no longer as young as we used to be.  And as I enter the mid-life womanly changes, my insomnia is happening more frequently.  I couldn’t help but notice that lately, Paul’s eyes are bloodshot, and the poor man really needs more sleep.  And so, out of love and kindness for my husband, I’m trying out a new way to process my thoughts.  With this wonderful blog, Paul can continue to sleep and wake up later to read my thoughts and give me feedback.  (Sleep well, Paul!)

So here I am writing a weblog and sharing my thoughts with you so my husband can get some sleep.  Hopefully you’re reading this at a reasonable hour.   But if you’re reading this because you have insomnia, you have my empathy.

It’s a bit scary for me to be writing things down like this, knowing how my opinions and thoughts, particularly about God and His love for us, have changed so much over time.  Friends have told me for years that I should write a book, but I’m not sure if I’d like having my thoughts frozen in time for all the world to see when I may not even think that way anymore years later.  I mean, just thinking about some of the beliefs I held, how I had dealt with some situations, and things I had said in the past, can make me cringe sometimes.  But so far they’re just memories in my head and can be left in the past.  If I write things down, it can continue to exist somewhere in some form, and God forbids, can be used against me later, just like emails. :-O  That’s discomforting to me.

And so I ask you to keep in mind as you read my blog that I am a growing person (hopefully in the maturing sense, and not the widening-girth sense), and that each post I write here is like a photograph of me in one moment in time, and not necessary the full essence of who I am all the time; that to get a true sense of who I am, you’d need to travel with me (via this blog or in real life) over a period of time.

So then, if you want to journey life with me for a while, welcome to my blog!

3 Comments on “Welcome”

  1. Anna Cousins says:

    How familiar your words resounded with me when you spoke about aging into insomnia. My family just accepts my inability to sleep some nights as easily as they accept a much needed nap, How blessed I am! I know that these happenings would horrify others as it did me when I first began to experience it. As I age I begin to lose so much of the “what would others think” feelings, sometimes I’m not sure that’s good.
    Love in Christ, Anna

  2. I like this thought… “Friends have told me for years that I should write a book, but I’m not sure if I’d like having my thoughts frozen in time for all the world to see when I may not even think that way anymore years later.”

    The idea of thoughts frozen in time is a bit poetic and deeply meaningful. Considering how much we change as we grow in our love for Christ, it almost seems a disservice to those that read something a year or so old.

    Seems, a blog might me the perfect medium… Even a bit interesting to see the progression in thought.

    Thank you for finding me on Facebook and I hope you equally enjoy my journey at http://37stories.wordpress.com and my quest for “God Spots”.

  3. Jim E says:

    Nicely written … the words of someone who is “blessed” with a questing heart and mind.

    Were it not for the written words of you, and others, I would not be in a place where I would even take the time to read your musings – much less pay attention to their meaning.

    In my process of growing up, I’ve kicked around a lot of ideas and thoughts. Of the opinions I formed – yep – I was wrong most of the time. It was not until I entered the rooms of AA that I began to walk out the maze-ridden box that was my life. It was there that I learned to express my self – with the provision that “I reserve the right to change my mind at any time.”

    The only people that I know who have not changed – be it their words or their actions – are the ones I most avoid.

    When I first read, “So You Don’t Want To Go To Church Any More,” I was amazed. There was so much written there that I’d been feeling or experiencing most of my life.

    Listening to The God Journey podcasts – what brought me up short – and had me running for the ladder that would help me step over one of my many walls – was the fact that Wayne and Brad (and so many others now free-ranging) were once firmly entrenched in their “words” and beliefs.

    I’m a recovering alcoholic – people have tried to use my thoughts and words and actions of the past against me. Doesn’t matter. Had I not gone through what I did (not excusing any of it), I would not be who I am, today – someone who’s ever so thankful to be in a place where he can read your words and say, “Nicely written.”

    Keep writing – right – or wrong – they help wanderers like me keep moving up and over and out of the “box.”

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